SCENE 10: PATHS CROSS - FOREST HILL

                                        Kevin in suddenly alone in the
                                        middle of Forest Hill.

                              KEVIN
                Come in Pat, do you read? Over?

                                        Pat can only be heard through the
                                        walkie-talkie, he is not seen.

                              PAT
                Loud and clear! Over!

                              KEVIN
                There's still no sign of him but I'm going to
                keep my head down and/

                              COURTNEY
                /Dylan!

                              GLORIA
                We didn't think you'd be seeing you today?

                                        Kevin looks around double checking
                                        he is who they are speaking to and
                                        then tries to keep his face out of
                                        view. In his attempts to be
                                        undercover, he probably couldn't
                                        be more conspicuous. 

                              KEVIN
                No...?

                              COURTNEY
                Are you wearing glasses?

                              KEVIN
                ...Yes.

                              GLORIA
                Since when did you wear glasses?

                              KEVIN
                Since...today.

                              COURTNEY
                Clearly.

                              GLORIA
                Have you seen Sarah? She's looking for you.

                              COURTNEY
                I wouldn't be wearing those comedy glasses when
                you see her if I were you, she's not happy.

                              GLORIA
                We're not joking Dylan, I think she'll be
                seriously pissed off if she's trying to have a
                real, like, relationship conversation and
                you're wearing those fucking things.

                              COURTNEY
                Well aren't you going to say anything?

                                        Kevin shakes his head.

                              GLORIA
                Give me the glasses, Dylan.

                              COURTNEY
                You will be thanking us. This is no time for
                your stupid little pranks. Come on.

                                        Kevin submits, slowly taking his
                                        glasses off and blindly holding
                                        them out. 

                              COURTNEY
                            (Taking the glasses)
                Good decision.

                              GLORIA
                Good luck with the test later Dyl, you know we
                want you to pass.

                                        Gloria and Courtney exit with
                                        Kevin's glasses SL. Kevin is left
                                        alone. He crouches and pulls out
                                        the walkie-talkie quickly.

                              KEVIN
                            (extreme panic)
                They've got my glasses Pat! They've got my
                fucking glasses?!

                                        Silence.

                              PAT
                You have to say over, over.

                              KEVIN
                They've got my fucking glasses, over!

                              PAT
                Who have Captain? Try to stay calm! Over!

                              KEVIN
                The girls! I don't know what to do! I can't see
                a ruddy thing Pat!

                                        Beat.

                              PAT
                ...Over?

                              KEVIN
                Over!

                              PAT
                Stay calm! Look in your bag, I gave you a
                monocular remember? Use that until you get them
                back, over!

                              KEVIN
                I just need to get out of here, this was a
                stupid idea, I'm coming back, over and out.

                                        Kevin reaches into his pocket and
                                        pulls out the monocular, which he
                                        uses to try and make his way off
                                        SL but some students cross in
                                        front of him. He turns to go off
                                        SR as Ralph enters. Ralph see's
                                        Kevin and stands still as Kevin
                                        slowly edges gingerly towards him
                                        holding his monocular to his eye.
                                        Eventually Kevin is facing Ralph
                                        straight on. He slowly brings his
                                        focus to Ralph's head height and
                                        is shocked at how big Ralph's face
                                        looks. 

                              KEVIN
                Arrghh!

                              RALPH
                I'm sorry!

                              KEVIN
                Excuse me, I'm just leaving.

                              RALPH
                Would you like your lighter before you go?

                              KEVIN
                Lighter?

                              RALPH
                For your cigarette?

                              KEVIN
                Um no, thank you. Goodbye then.

                                        There's a sort of stand off as
                                        both wait for the other to leave.
                                        Eventually, Ralph exits with
                                        curiosity. Kevin gets his walkie
                                        talkie out, desperate again.

                              KEVIN
                I can't get away Pat, there are people
                everywhere! We were right, there must be a
                double here somewhere - they all keep calling
                me Dylan, over.

                              PAT
                Roger, over.

                              KEVIN
                No, not Roger, Dylan, over.

                              PAT
                Why would you roger Dylan? Over.

                              KEVIN
                I'm not rogering Dylan Pat, I'm going by the
                name 'Dylan', over.

                              PAT
                Dylan Over, Roger that. Over.

                              KEVIN
                No Pat! Just Dylan...over.

                              PAT
                Noted. There's just one Dylan Over, over.

                              KEVIN
                This is nonsense, I'm heading back/

                                        Spud throws a ball at Kevin who
                                        can't see and is thoroughly taken
                                        by surprise but it ricochets off
                                        him back to Spud.

                              SPUD
                Beckham back to Butt!
                            (He slams it into the wings)
                Who BURIES IT! BOOM!

                                        Kevin is looking at Spud through
                                        the monocular.

                              SPUD
                What the fuck is that?

                              KEVIN
                Who me?

                              SPUD
                Yes Dylan, what the fuck is that?

                              KEVIN
                            (holding the monocular up)
                This?

                              SPUD
                Yes.

                              KEVIN
                It's called a monocular.

                              SPUD
                What's it for? Like, looking at tits or
                something?

                              KEVIN
                Yes?

                              SPUD
                Wicked. I'll meet you in first period yeah?
                Then we can really start crushing some shit up.
                Out with a bang Dyl! Out with a bang! In a bit!

                                        Spud exits SL. Sarah enters from
                                        SR.

                              SARAH
                Oh, you're here.

                              KEVIN
                            (looking around)
                I am here, indeed I am.

                              SARAH
                I didn't think you'd show.

                              KEVIN
                Well, expect the unexpected I always say!

                              SARAH
                No you don't, I have literally never heard you
                say that in your life.

                              KEVIN
                No of course not, just a joke.

                              SARAH
                Yeah, I honestly thought you were just going to
                give it all up. Without even trying. 

                              KEVIN
                Nope.

                              SARAH
                I'm really impressed Dyl, that's all I've ever
                wanted - for you to try. Do your best, be
                brave, you'll be surprised how far you can go.

                              KEVIN
                Quite far...it turns out.

                              SARAH
                I'm really sorry about yesterday, but you know
                it's only because I care about you. A lot.

                                        Kevin's walkie-talkie goes off in
                                        his pocket with a white noise
                                        sound with a muffled 'come in?'
                                        from Pat.

                              SARAH
                What was that?

                              KEVIN
                Just me! Going kkkkssshhhhh! Kkksshhhhmmm I'm
                sorry too. So sorry.

                              SARAH
                Right.

                                        Awkward silence.

                              SARAH
                I'll see you at break then yeah?

                              KEVIN
                Yeah, yeah of course. Normal place, normal
                time, just normal normal.

                              SARAH
                Yep...normal, normal.

                                        She goes to kiss him, he pulls
                                        away.

                              SARAH
                Oh it's like that is it? Fuck sake.  

                                        She exits. Kevin rushes to get his
                                        walkie talkie out.

                              KEVIN
                Pat! Do not contact me! You nearly jeopardised
                this whole thing!

                                        Garbled feedback.

                              KEVIN
                Pat!

                                        More garbled feedback until Kevin
                                        decides to turn it off.

                              RALPH
                Dylan?

                                        Forgetting that his name is now
                                        'Dylan', Kevin doesn't reply.

                              RALPH
                Would you like me to help you with anything?

                              KEVIN
                No! Please, leave me alone!

                              RALPH
                Yes Dylan, sorry!

                                        Kevin blindly starts walking
                                        towards SR exit. 

                              RALPH
                I wouldn't go that way Dylan, Mrs Chandry is
                there.

                              KEVIN
                Well then where can I go?!

                              RALPH
                To class.

                              KEVIN
                Right, of course.

                                        Kevin stands still and looks
                                        around with the monocular.

                              RALPH
                Straight ahead Dylan.

                              KEVIN
                Yes, thank you. As you were.

                                        He heads off SL slowly. Ralph
                                        starts to exit SR. Dylan rushes
                                        past Kevin from SL, head down. 

                              DYLAN
                Oi, Ralph! Ralph!

                                        Ralph rushes back on.

                              RALPH
                Yes Dylan?

                              DYLAN
                Where's my fucking lighter.

                              RALPH
                Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you didn't want it?

                              DYLAN
                Why the fuck wouldn't I want to light my
                cigarette?

                              RALPH
                No, no of course, absolutely.

                                        Ralph lights Dylan's cigarette.

                              RALPH
                Where's your monocular?

                              DYLAN
                What the fuck is wrong with you?

                              RALPH
                Nothing! Anything else?

                              DYLAN
                No thank you, off you fuck.

                                        Ralph exits SR. Gloria enters from
                                        SL.

                              GLORIA
                Did she find you?

                              DYLAN
                Who?

                              GLORIA
                Your girlfriend Dylan. I literally just told
                you she was looking for you.

                              DYLAN
                No you didn't.

                              GLORIA
                What is wrong with you today? Just talk to her
                will you?

                                        She heads towards the SL exit. Tom
                                        enters from the same exit passing
                                        Gloria as he does so. He's wearing
                                        Kevin's glasses and pretending to
                                        be a nerd.

                              TOM
                I'm a fucking hero, I love adding shit up and
                taking it away. 
                            (Trying to make Gloria jump and
                              succeeding.)
                NERD!

                              GLORIA
                Oh grow up Tom.

                                        She exits SL.

                              TOM
                Look at these Dylan, I found them in Courtney's
                bag.

                              DYLAN
                What were you doing in her bag?

                              TOM
                It was just open, I'm not a creep. Are we ready
                to cause some fucking carnage?

                                        Spud enters from SR.

                              SPUD
                There he is! Where's your little tit telescope?

                              DYLAN
                What?!

                              SPUD
                I've bunked my isolation for this, let's go! 

                              TOM
                Are you sure you wanna miss isolation? 

                              SPUD
                Isolation spice-olation. 

                              TOM
                What the fuck goes on in your head?

                              SPUD
                What the fuck goes on in your head?

                              DYLAN
                Fair point.

                              SPUD
                I believe we are gathered here to help Dylan
                smash this place up before he leaves. Which
                bins to you want me to smash Dyl?

                                        Kevin comes crawling on from SL
                                        looking for his glasses and trying
                                        to make an escape and continues
                                        crawling with his head down as the
                                        boys converse.

                              DYLAN
                Who the fuck is this?

                              TOM
                I have no idea.

                              SPUD
                Here kitty!

                              DYLAN
                Oi mate, what are you doing?

                                        Kevin crawls right up to Spud's
                                        feet but keeps his head down as he
                                        speaks. If he occasionally looks
                                        up, only Spud can see him who may
                                        be inclined to do several double
                                        takes etc. 

                              KEVIN
                Oh gosh, sorry, I'm trying to find my glasses.

                              DYLAN
                You won't find them down there.

                              TOM
                What do they look like?

                              KEVIN
                They're black. Quite big.

                              TOM
                These things?

                              KEVIN
                Do you have them? Let me feel! Are the lenses
                thick?

                              TOM
                Thicker than Spud.

                              SPUD
                Blimey.

                                        Kevin slowly stands up to get
                                        them. There is a stunned silence
                                        as they all stop to take in
                                        Dylan's double.

                              KEVIN
                May I have them?

                              SPUD
                            (Looking at his own hand and then back and
                              forth between Dylan and Kevin)
                Oh no....not Again! The desert wine!

                              DYLAN
                Who the fuck are you?

                              KEVIN
                I was just looking for my glasses.

                              DYLAN
                What's your name dick wad?

                              KEVIN
                Oh. Kevin.
                            (beat)
                Shit! Dylan. I mean, Dylan.

                              DYLAN
                That's funny.

                              SPUD
                            (Holding his stomach)
                Oh god.

                              DYLAN
                That's my name.

                              KEVIN
                Wait, what? You're he...him, you're him?

                              TOM
                Did you put something in my drink Spud!?

                              DYLAN
                Look mate, I don't know what your deal is, but
                you need to fuck off right now or I'm going to
                smash your hand so far up your arse you'll be
                wearing your own face as a glove.

                              KEVIN
                Wait! Wait, listen! I can't see you without my
                glasses, but I'm going to assume that, well
                this is a bit odd, but I'm going to guess that
                you look like me. Right?

                              DYLAN
                Yes. Tom, give him the glasses.

                              TOM
                But/

                              DYLAN
                /Just give him the fucking glasses.

                              KEVIN
                Oh thank you.
                            (Beat. Kevin reacts upon seeing Dylan
                              clearly for the first time.)
                Dylan.

                              KEVIN
                            (Taking a breath)
                I've been looking for you. I mean, not in a
                weird way, just in a normal...I saw you
                yesterday by the fence at Harp Hill.

                              DYLAN
                Right...

                              TOM
                Do you want me to hit him Dyl? I'll hit him.

                              DYLAN
                No, wait. Go on.

                              KEVIN
                We need to figure out who we are, why we look
                the same. According to my studies, it could be
                a number of different things...

                              DYLAN
                What?

                              KEVIN
                I know it's a lot to take in. Umm how do I put
                this simply? We might be exactly the same
                person, separated only by time and space and
                not by matter.

                              SPUD
                What are you talking about? What is he talking
                about?

                              TOM
                I have no idea.

                              KEVIN
                I'm talking about the science behind why we
                look the way we do and what that might mean for
                both of us...all of us actually/

                              DYLAN
                /We're twins.

                                        Silence.

                              SPUD
                What?

                              TOM
                What?

                              KEVIN
                What?

                              DYLAN
                Nobody told you?

                              KEVIN
                I'm a...I have....are you sure?

                              DYLAN
                I'm guessing you're adopted, right?

                              KEVIN
                How did you...?

                              DYLAN
                Am I right?

                              KEVIN
                Right.

                              DYLAN
                And they never told you, you had a brother?

                              KEVIN
                No...I mean, I don't think so.

                              TOM
                Shit.

                              DYLAN
                What's your real name?

                              KEVIN
                Kevin Lark.

                              DYLAN
                            (Dylan reaches out to shake Kevin's hand)
                It's nice to meet you Kevin Lark.

                                        Shaking hands.

                              KEVIN
                You too, Dylan...

                              DYLAN
                Chambers.

                              KEVIN
                If you knew you had a brother then...have you
                been trying to find me?

                              DYLAN
                Absolutely not, why the fuck do I care if I've
                got a brother. I mean, I didn't know I was
                identical but, well it must be. Look at you.
                Makes sense doesn't it? 

                              TOM
                Where did you come from?

                              KEVIN
                Harp Hill.

                              SPUD
                Whooo! Mon-eeyyyy!

                              DYLAN
                Looks like you got the better deal.

                              KEVIN
                I'm sorry, this is quite a lot to take in. My
                friend Pat was certain that the fence was some
                form of portal to a different world or...

                              DYLAN
                Mate, I hate to tell you, but this is a
                different world compared to Harp Hill.

                              SPUD
                Mon-eyyy!

                              KEVIN
                            (To himself)
                Christ! I have a brother?!
                            (To Dylan)
                What do we do? There must be something we can
                do. Every problem has a solution...we just have
                to think about the numbers. Statistically, if
                there are around one million births annually
                then we find out what percentage of those would
                be twins. Next we look at adoption rates within
                that calculation. Pretty soon the odds of this
                chance separation and consequent reunion will
                emerge. Right?

                              TOM
                Right?

                              SPUD
                What?

                              DYLAN
                            (Smiling)
                Right.

                              KEVIN
                So, off the top of my head if we say that about
                half a percentage point of those million
                children born are adopted we start getting
                closer to the figures we need to investigate in
                more detail.

                              DYLAN
                And what would that be?

                              SPUD
                Ten.

                              DYLAN
                Not you, I'm talking to rain man.

                              KEVIN
                Point five percent of one million is five
                thousand, that's the easy bit.

                              DYLAN
                Of course it is.
                            (Beat)
                Why are you here Kev?

                              KEVIN
                Why am I?...When I saw you, you...you just
                seemed so much cooler than me.

                              DYLAN
                What do you mean?

                              KEVIN
                Well, people like you.

                              SPUD
                Everyone loves him.

                              TOM
                Alright mate.

                              KEVIN
                I only meant to observe...I just thought I
                might be able to learn something about how to
                be more like you. How to be, you know, more
                confident.

                              DYLAN
                I'm sure I could help you with that.

                              KEVIN
                Really?

                              DYLAN
                Sure. What are you doing this afternoon?

                              KEVIN
                I'm meant to be doing a presentation in front
                of the whole school but look at me, it's going
                to be a total embarrassment.

                              TOM
                Oh he could help you with that I reckon.

                              KEVIN
                You could?

                              SPUD
                Sorry, can we just appreciate how amazing this
                is? Two wonderful young men, finding each
                other. Helping each other.

                              DYLAN
                Exactly. Helping - each other.

                              KEVIN
                Umm...right?

                              DYLAN
                I'm the King of Forest Hill, why would't I want
                to share some of my philosophical riches? It's
                what brother's do, right?

 

 



                              DYLAN
            HAVE YOU EVER BEEN THE FIRST PICK FOR THE FOOTBALL TEAM?
            HAVE YOU EVER HAD A CROWD OF PEOPLE CLAP AND SCREAM?
            HAVE YOU EVER HAD THE LADIES DROPPING AT YOUR FEET?
            HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN A BUS ON THE BACK SEAT?
            THESE ARE FEELINGS THAT NO GRAPHIC NOVEL CAN DESCRIBE,
            YOU'RE THE COOLEST GUY IN SCHOOL, THE LEADER OF THE TRIBE,
            PEOPLE LOOK AT YOU FOR GUIDANCE ON WHAT'S COOL OR NOT,
            NOW IT'S TIME FOR YOUR NEW SHOES TO STRIKE THE WINNING SHOT!
            AND I CAN MAKE THOSE DREAMS COME TRUE...FOR YOU!
            THERE IS NOTHING THAT OUR NEW FOUND POWERS CAN NOT HELP US TO
            DO.
            NOW OUR LUCK IS ON THE UP... SO WAKE UP! IT'S TIME TO SAY
            GOODBYE TO LITTLE SPECK-Y NO-ONE LIKES YOU KEVIN LARK,
            THE RUNNER-UP! OH YEAH!

                                        Chorus.
            AS TWO WORLDS COLLIDE,
            THERE'S NO TIME TO HIDE,
            DROP THE NEEDLE, SKIP THE TRACK,
            AND FLIP TO THE A- SIDE,
            OUR FATES ARE NOW TIED,
            HOP ON FOR THE RIDE,
            ...LET'S FLIP TO THE A-SIDE!
            WOAH OH, WOAH OH OH OH OHH...
            LET'S FLIP TO THE A-SIDE
            WOAH OH, WOAH OH OH OH OHH...
            LET'S FLIP TO THE A-SIDE

                                        Spoken.

                              KEVIN
                What a learning experience!

                              DYLAN
                A what?

                              KEVIN
                We've so much to teach each other buddy!

                              DYLAN
                Buddy? Mate, that's not quite what I was err/

                                        Sung.

                              KEVIN
            I CAN SHOW YOU HOW TO CAPTURE AND THEN SEX A NEWT,
            FIND THE FUNCTION OF ALL INTEGERS AND THEIR SQUARE ROOT,
            I COULD SHOW YOU HOW TO CLASSIFY A TREE OR SHRUB,
            I COULD BOOST YOUR REPUTATION WITH THE SCIENCE CLUB!
            HAVE YOU EVER WOWED THE TEACHERS WITH YOUR ELOQUENCE?
            MADE THEIR HEADS SPIN AT YOUR INTELLECTUAL ELEGANCE?
            HAD THEM ALWAYS LOOK TO YOU FIRST FOR THE CORRECT RESPONSE,
            AND THEN HIT THEM WITH YOUR ACADEMIC NONCHALANCE?
            'CAUSE I CAN MAKE THOSE DREAMS COME TRUE...FOR YOU!
            THERE IS NOTHING THAT OUR NEW FOUND POWERS CAN NOT HELP US TO
            DO,
            I'M CONVINCED BY THIS EXCHANGE... IT'S STRANGE!
            IT'S TIME TO SAY GOODBYE TO THUGGY MEATHEAD DYLAN CHAMBERS
            'CAUSE YOUR LUCK, IS GONNA CHANGE! OH YEAH!

                                        Chorus.

                              BOTH
            AS TWO WORLDS COLLIDE,
            THERE'S NO TIME TO HIDE,
            DROP THE NEEDLE, SKIP THE TRACK,
            AND FLIP TO THE A- SIDE!
            OUR FATES ARE NOW TIED,
            HOP ON FOR THE RIDE
            ...LET'S FLIP TO THE A-SIDE,
            WOAH OH, WOAH OH OH OH OHH...
            LET'S FLIP TO THE A-SIDE,
            WOAH OH, WOAH OH OH OH OHH...
            LET'S FLIP TO THE A-SIDE!

                                        Spoken.

                              DYLAN
                Learning from each other is all very well Kev,
                but you know what's even better?

                              KEVIN
                What?

                              SPUD
                Sex?

                              DYLAN
                No. Well, yes, but not for this, obviously.

                              SPUD
                Obviously.

                              DYLAN
                Being each other.

                              KEVIN
                What do you mean?

                              DYLAN
                I'll be you, but 'me' being 'you', you know?

                              KEVIN
                Umm?

                              DYLAN
                I'll do your little science show and everyone
                will love you.

                              KEVIN
                Are you sure?

                              DYLAN
                Trust me.

                              SPUD & TOM
                Game on.

                              DYLAN
                And you'll do my maths test this afternoon,
                right?

                              KEVIN
                Well...

                              DYLAN
                That's my boy!

                              SPUD
                There's learning to be had, I can feel it.

                              KEVIN
                You'll need to find Pat.

                              DYLAN
                Pat?

                              KEVIN
                He'll be the one with the clipboard.

                              DYLAN
                Clipboard? Fuck me. Welcome to the start of
                your new life.

                              DYLAN
                And to you.

                                        Back into song.

                              KEVIN
            I HOPE IT OPENS UP YOUR EYES

                              DYLAN
            I HOPE YOU SEE WHO YOU COULD BE

                              KEVIN
            I KNOW THAT THERE'LL BE LOWS AND HIGHS

                              SPUD & TOM
            THE UNTOLD MYSTERIES YOU'LL SEE!

                              KEVIN
            I HOPE THAT PENNY THINKS WE'RE COOL
            AND PLEASE GIVE PAT MY BEST!

                              DYLAN
            I WILL TAKE CARE OF HIM,
            I HOPE THAT YOU ENJOY MY MATHS TEST!

                              TOM
            HIS MATHS TEST!

                              SPUD
            HIS MATHS TEST!

                                        Spoken.

                              KEVIN
                This is it then.

                              DYLAN
                It is. Meet me back at the fence at four. Don't
                be late and don't fuck it up.

                              KEVIN
                OK, I'll try not to Dylan. Please don't get me
                in trouble!

                              DYLAN
                In a bit Kev! See you on the other side!

                              KEVIN
                Live long and...shit.

                                        During this dialogue the boys have
                                        been preparing for the switch,
                                        Kevin lends Dylan a tie and Dylan
                                        loosens Kevin's tie. Before Kevin
                                        has a chance to process it Dylan
                                        has scaled the fence and is on the
                                        other side and gone. Spud and Tom
                                        are in the background observing.
                                        Sung.

                              KEVIN
            AS TWO WORLDS COLLIDE,
            IT'S NO TIME TO HIDE,
            DROP THE NEEDLE, SKIP THE TRACK,
            AND FLIP TO THE A-SIDE.

                              KEVIN
                OUR FATES ARE NOW TIED, HOP ON FOR THE RIDE.
                LET'S FLIP TO THE A-SIDE.

                              SPUD & TOM
                AHHHHH! OOOOO!

                                        End of Act 1.

8. Flip To The A-Side