ACT ONE

                                        The stage is in darkness. School
                                        bell. Music. Lights on Kevin's
                                        Harp Hill class, the students rush
                                        around as though heading to class.
                                        High fives, pranks etc before
                                        suddenly being sat still at single
                                        desks, working silently. Kevin
                                        finishes the work and looks
                                        around, bored. Sung.

                                   - HARP HILL SCHOOL

                              KEVIN
            SIT HERE IN THIS CLASSROOM EVERY DAY,
            STAY SILENT AND HEAR THE THINGS THEY SAY,
            I CAN REEL OFF THE ANSWERS TIL I'M BLUE
            BUT THERE'S GOTTA BE MORE TO DO THAN...
            SPLIT FRACTIONS TO CALCULATE THE PRIME,
            DIVIDE DISTANCE BY SPEED TO FIND THE TIME,
            AND I COULD TELL YOU THE PROBABILITY,
            BUT THERE'S GOT TO BE MORE TO ME.

                                        Spoken.

                              PAT
                Ready for the big presentation Obi Wan?

                              KEVIN
                How could I be ready Pat? I will never be
                ready! I can barely speak in front of normal
                class mates let alone Penny!

                              PAT
                I won't stand for it Kevin. You're a hero in
                the making! You're Neo, before he knew he was,
                NEO.

                              KEVIN
                I'm not Pat, I'm a dweeb. There is no world
                where she would be interested in someone like
                me.

                                        Kevin and Pat have been staring at
                                        Penny for most of this dialogue.

                              PENNY
                Could you two please stop staring at me.

                                        Kevin looks away from her and back
                                        at the audience. Sung.

                              KEVIN
            MY DREAM GIRL OVER THERE, THAT'S PENNY HART,
            SHE'S SO FINE - A DA VINCI WORK OF ART.
            MY MANIA GROWS FROM WEEK TO WEEK,
            BUT SHE JUST SEES SOME MASSIVE GEEK.

                                        The students are all moving to
                                        their next class. The whole thing
                                        should feel like a mass of motion,
                                        swirling around Kevin who appears
                                        to be blown about by it all.

                              KEVIN
            I TRY TO LIVE BETWEEN THE LINES,
            SWERVE LEFT TO DODGE THE SOCIAL MINES.
            I'M NOT THE GUY WHO GETS THE GIRL YOU SEE.
            NOT LIKE THE NUMBERS IN A BOOK,
            EVEN ONE WORD AND I CAN'T LOOK!
            A QUAKING MESS OF NOBODY,
            MY EVERYDAY REALITY!

                                        Harry Ludlowe-Brown and Karen
                                        enter. Spoken.

                              HARRY
                Oh here they are, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Cum.
                Why the fuck are you two even here?

                              PAT
                We go to school here Harry, as well you know.

                              HARRY
                Alright, keep your panties on. I'm sick of your
                faces, why don't you fuck off somewhere poor -
                like Forest Hill.
                            (Beat. Karen and Harry find this
                              hilarious)
                Well, go on then, fuck off to class. 

                                        All three of them exit on Harry's
                                        line, Kevin and Pat walk into each
                                        other before settling on which
                                        side to exit. Bell rings. The
                                        ensemble change their blazers to
                                        indicate we are now in Forest
                                        Hill. Dylan is pointing at
                                        students/audience members. Spud
                                        and Tom in attendance, other
                                        students around. They are just out
                                        of sight of the main school
                                        grounds, in their usual place by
                                        the fence. Spoken.

                              DYLAN
                You're a donkey, you're a bell-end, and what in
                the name of all that's fuck is that?! Oh, it's
                Ralph. Ralph, lighter please.

                                        Ralph hurries over and lights
                                        Dylan's cigarette before being
                                        dismissed.

                              DYLAN
                Thank you Ralph.

                              SPUD
                Can I have one, Dyl?

                              TOM
                Get your own, you skank!

                              DYLAN
                Now, now Thomas! Open wide Spuddy!

                                        He flicks a cigarette out of the
                                        pack and Spud catches it in his
                                        mouth the wrong way round but
                                        lights it nonetheless.

                              TOM
                You're such a twat.

                              SPUD
                Better a twat than a..a..dickhead.

                              DYLAN
                Genius.

                                        Sarah, Courtney and Gloria enter.
                                        Sarah goes to Dylan, Courtney to
                                        Tom and Gloria and Spud linger
                                        slightly apart from each other, a
                                        little awkward.

                              TOM
                Oi, oi!

                              COURTNEY
                Boys.

                              SARAH
                            (To Dylan)
                So this is where you've been hiding.

                                        They kiss.

                              SPUD
                She is so fit.

                              GLORIA
                Out of your league, Spuddy.

                              DYLAN
                Spud, you know if your hand is bigger than your
                face it means you've got cancer.

                              SPUD
                            (Trying it)
                Does it?

                                        As Spud tries to check, Dylan
                                        whacks his hand into his face.

                              DYLAN
                Ha. No.

                                        Sung.

                              DYLAN
            S'NOT REALLY THAT EASY BEING COOL,
            TO FIND PLEASURE IN BREAKING EVERY RULE,
            I GET A BUZZ IN MY INDIVIDUAL WAY,
            DO WHAT I WANT EVERY DAY.

                                        As he moves through the next
                                        verse, the things he sings about
                                        are enacted. Similarly frenetic to
                                        Kevin's verse.

                              DYLAN
            JUST,
            KNOCK TRAYS OVER IN THE DINNER HALL,
            KEEP PUSHING UNTIL I START A BRAWL,
            WHEN ANGLES, NUMBERS AND FRACTIONS HURT MY BRAIN,
            I KICK OUT OR I GO INSANE!
            AND THOUGH IN HERE MY FATE IS SEALED,
            THE GIRLS ALL LOVE ME ON THE FIELD,
            I AM THE STAR, I'M NOT SOME WAN-NA-BE.
            STILL NOT AFRAID TO PLAY THE FOOL,
            OR PAY THE PRICE FOR BEING COOL,
            IT STOPS ME BEING NOBODY,
            MY EVERYDAY REALITY!

                                        Students from both schools fill
                                        the stage in the same chaotic way
                                        as in the start of the number. The
                                        Forest Hill lot are distinctly
                                        cooler than Harp Hill who deliver
                                        a school choir descant.

                              GROUP VOCAL 1 - FORREST HILL
            SIT HERE IN THIS CLASSROOM EVERY DAY,
            STAY SILENT AND HEAR THE THINGS THEY SAY,
            SPLIT FRACTIONS TO CALCULATE THE PRIME,
            DIVIDE DISTANCE BY SPEED TO FIND THE TIME, (REPEAT)

                              (SECOND TIME) ADD HARP HILL
            IN OUR INDIVIDUAL WAY,
            WE CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY! (REPEAT)

                              (THIRD TIME) PRIVATE SCHOOL
                              DESCANT
            WE MARCH ON IN A DAZE,
            WE'RE LIKE RATS IN A MAZE (REPEAT)

                              FINAL GROUP CHORUS
            OUR EVERYDAY REALITY,
            IT'S NOT A PLACE WE WANT TO BE,
            STUCK ON REPEAT UNTIL THEY SET US FREE
            IS THERE ANOTHER TIME AND SPACE,
            ANOTHER WORLD, A BETTER PLACE?

                              DYLAN
            'CAUSE WE ALL NEED TO FIND THE FUN!

                              TOM & SPUD
            JUST KILLING TIME BEFORE WE'RE DONE!

                              KEVIN
            DO WE ALL GET WHAT WE DESERVE?

                              PAT
            JUST HANGING ON TO OUR LAST NERVE!

                              PENNY
            IF ONLY LIFE WORKED DIFFERENTLY!

                              DYLAN & KEVIN
            BUT WHAT IT IS, IS WHAT WILL BE!

                              ALL
            OUR EVERYDAY REALITY!
            IN OUR INDIVIDUAL WAY/EVERYDAY REALITY ETC
            'NOTHER BLOODY DAY!

                                        End of song. 

1. Everyday Reality
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